Drew Barrymore "unravelled" during the height of the coronavirus pandemic.
The 46-year-old actress struggled to settle down in New York after her divorce from Will Koppelman and she was keen to "run back to California", but knew it wouldn't be fair on the former couple's daughters Olive, nine, and seven-year-old Frankie to do so.
In an extract from her book 'Rebel Homemaker' published by Body + Soul magazine, she wrote: "It was a hard time. Lightless, grey, wet, soggy days trying to find a rental apartment, wishing I could run back to California so badly, but I knew that would separate my daughters from the other half of their family, and I would do no such thing.
"I struggled for the next several years to try to figure out a way to make Manhattan a place where I felt comfortable. Then the pandemic hit. I think I slowly unravelled and yet I felt things I didn't know possible."
But the 'Whip It' star grew to realise that she could be happy so long as she was with her children.
She continued: "Probably the most important thing I've come to realise is that as much as I was always looking for an anchor in the form of a home, I've fallen in love with the saying 'Home is where the heart is', because anywhere my girls and I are together, we will find happiness."
Drew previously admitted she took her 2016 divorce from Will "really hard" because it was the "last thing" she wanted for her daughters.
She previously said: "I really did not take divorce well. I took it really hard.
"I was, like, ''Oh, the ultimate promise I wanted to make with you and for you was to have this amazing family. And I found them. And there's something not working that isn't livable. How tragic is that?' "
As well as her four-year marriage to Will, the 'E.T.' actress was previously married to Tom Green for 15 months, and bar owner Jeremy Thomas for less than two months in 1995.