What is more obscene: being accused of sexually assaulting more than 80 women or being sentenced to 23 years in prison for rape and sexual assault? The gall of Harvey Weinstein’s defence lawyer to call his sentence handed out this week “obscene” is flabbergasting even by her standards. I know it’s her job to stick up for him but that word lingered uncomfortably.

While Weinstein’s conviction is a huge relief, it must also serve as a reminder of how much more there is to do, not least to tackle the bullying that flies under the radar, the comments and aggressive shouting, which aren’t actually illegal, but can still destroy lives.

The actress Kate Beckinsale summed this up in an Instagram post about her experience with the movie mogul yesterday. She wrote about the 2001 premiere of Serendipity, which now will be remembered less as a harmlessly saccharine rom-com and more for another example of the insidious coercion that so many get away with. The film came out weeks after 9/11 and so the cast refused to go to the premiere as it felt tone deaf and insincere but Weinstein insisted.

Afterwards, he summoned Beckinsale and her daughter to his house for a “playdate” with his children and he screamed at the actress, telling her she ruined his premiere by wearing a white suit rather than a tight dress. “It’s my premiere and if I want pussy on the red carpet that’s what I get … not you looking like a f***ing lesbian.” While vile, these comments aren’t illegal so she felt powerless to act.

It’s only recently that she felt she could talk about this. Still, Beckinsale was criticised for speaking up — she’s rich and famous, who cares if she was once shouted at? And wasn’t she trading on her body anyway? I do not recommend reading the comments underneath her story unless you fancy having a rage blackout. Instead of rushing to criticise Beckinsale or calling the sentence given to the man who abused so many obscene or trial by MeToo, we must listen to those who are brave enough to come forward. Imagine the opposite, if Weinstein hadn’t been convicted and we ignored all these stories.

Brilliant new film Promising Young Woman is a study in how much this matters. Cassandra Thomas (Carey Mulligan) is destroyed by what happens when a vulnerable woman is dismissed as hysterical because when men behave badly it’s just a big boyish joke.

When I waitressed as a teenager my boss told me to have smooth, bare legs and “be friendly” — code for flirt

This extends beyond than the film industry. When I was a teenager I waitressed for a catering company that routinely told me how to dress and to “be friendly” with the older male clients — code for flirt. On one occasion when we had to wear skirts with no tights a girl was sent home for having hairy legs. She would not be paid because she had broken her side of the arrangement, they said. The (female) manager didn’t see anything wrong — she had stipulated that “legs must be smooth” when she had emailed us about the job. It sounds trivial but these incidents contribute to a culture where people get away with atrocious behaviour. As Beckinsale points out, covert abuse within relationships didn’t used to be illegal. At the moment people are listening and trying to change the world so let’s speak up.

WFH doesn’t mean slacking. Ask Isaac

It’s all very well saying everyone should work from home to avoid spreading coronavirus, but so far it just seems to be driving everyone into cafés. Furious freelancers report their usual spots are taken as offices close — they resent these amateurs hogging the plug sockets. Sorry, freelancers but I’m one of those invaders.

After two hours doing self-isolated work in my cramped and draughty flat I decided setting up my workstation elsewhere was preferable to staying put in pyjamas, mindlessly spooning peanut butter that was supposed to have been saved for emergency rations into my mouth, and generally going a bit feral, laughing to myself about things like hamsterkauf, the German word for panic-buying. On the plus side, at least certain people are finally realising that WFH doesn’t mean slacking.

A friend has endured years of her boss calling her “part time” because she works from home on Wednesdays to look after her son. Now he’s extolling the benefits of flexi-working. She’s taking it with a patient smile and hoping his new attitude lasts.

After all, Isaac Newton developed the theory of gravity while working from home when Cambridge University closed due to bubonic plague. No pressure then.

Secret superspreader

Congratulations to Nicole Appleton not just on the birth of her daughter, Skipper, but on keeping her pregnancy secret. A friend went seven months without telling anyone (baggy jumpers are your friend), to avoid strangers feeling they had the right to pat her bump and ask intrusive questions about the gender of the “ickle bean” or unload their scare stories on her. Like Appleton, who is 45, my friend is in her forties. As a chronic superspreader of secrets I’m not sure I could manage to do the same, but if anything is an incentive this is it.